Friday, January 08, 2010
God has truely been awesome. i'm gonna add another new year's resolution to my list: this year, i'm gonna make an effort to write in my journal or blog about every single incident that i see God present in, every prayer that He has answered and every lesson that He has taught me. quite impossible i know cos i can never truely count all His blessings but i'll still try. (:
anw i've been trying to sell my textbooks since last sem but i didn't find any buyers. this sem i was having difficulties too. i asked friends to advertise to their friends and juniors and i posted on the school's public folders but no one msged me. i was pretty frustrated cos i didn't want 4 textbooks taking up space in my room for another whole sem. then it struck me to pray about it and so i did.
and lo and behold the next day which was friday during yam while we were mingling during dinner, daphne was talking to beverley and suddenly she said hey mel beverley's studying accountancy at ntu too! and (this is quite bad but) the first thing i said was oh what courses are you taking next sem i'm selling my textbooks. :P and the amazing thing is she happens to take the exact courses which i'm selling my textbooks for so yay i now have a buyer and for all 4 textbooks at once too! :D
so yes God truely is amazing that he even bothers about the little things in my life. and how much more concerned wll He be regarding the big issues in my life?
like last night's ODJ message about the early church, 'so they responded by praying. their current plight didn't diminish God or the fact that He was in control. they trusted Him.', another of my new year's resolutions is to keep my eyes on God and trust Him even if my current situation suggests that things are going wrong.
do you just bear with it even though it eats you up inside?
or do you walk away?
have you ever been in a situation where you don't know whether to take a step back or a step forward? cos both ways you end up getting hurt. but at the same time you can't stay where you are cos you're hurting right now too.
sometimes i find it silly. other times i think it's one of the biggest hurdles i'll ever have to overcome.
praying real hard about it, trying to focus on Him instead of me. there's something to be learnt from all this right?
i can't wait for school to start. maybe i'll be too busy to think about it. but when the holidays come then what? i don't wanna go through it again. but i don't know what to do either.
going to church and being around family is about the only thing that makes me smile these days.
i'm just so tired really. physically and emotionally. it's gonna be tough trying to sleep at 11 at night to wake up at 6 in the morning 4 days a week. this is bad i'm tired even before school starts.
first off i'm so thankful for the many opportunities i've been given to serve God in 2009, who knew serving the Lord was this much fun. (: thank God for YAM camp and musical, both have definitely blessed me immensely and helped me grow that much deeper in Christ.
working on YAM camp was probably the best thing to happen to me in 2009. i got to know so many awesome brothers and sisters in Christ in the process and it's been an absolute joy really. somehow they really inspire and encourage me in ways that they'll never know, through what little contact i have with them. and i'm so thankful i said yes to coll when she asked me to join the comm.
i must say doing the YAM musical was somewhat of a crazy albeit a pretty short journey of two weeks. God has really opened my eyes to how He is able (haha title of the musical!) to do the seemingly impossible.
i rmb last last year 2008 church wanted to do a musical too. we started in aug i think and halfway through it was decided that there wasn't enough time to put together one by the end of the year. and i rmb thinking, even before it was decided, that there wasn't enough time to do a musical in 4 months after being used to working on plays for about 6 months before the actual performance, being on drama in st nicks. and i was lika ha i was right.
fast forward a year 2009 and here colleen was saying she was gonna put together a musical in 2 weeks. watching her struggle with the burden left a very strong impression on me and i knew i wanted to help but i wasn't confident about acting so i said i'd help with backstage stuff. but God had other plans and i ended up with a supporting role which required me to sing as well. and somehow i said yes though i was really nervous. not to mention that the song was a new one for me and i had trouble singing it.
and so i prayed about it. and amazingly the next day, i was no longer feeling nervous but i was so excited about performing! but the song was still giving me trouble and i was still forgetting my lines, up till the last rehearsal just before the actual performance. i was crying backstage and i was really scared of spoiling the musical for everyone. and i sat down and prayed hard. and lo and behold i didn't forget a single line during the show and pple came up to me and said i delivered the song well though i felt shaky so i was pleased about that.
God is indeed awesome. for showing me that anything is possible with Him around, for alleviating my fears.
come 2010 and i see a lot of changes this year. from my internship to gary ord-ing and starting schoo, i foresee a whole host of new problems or situations to work out, including the same old problems like school. but this year i'm not gonna try to solve them myself. and so this year i have no new year resolutions. except to walk closer with God, to trust wholeheartedly in God and to live my life for God.
recently whenever i'm feeling down somehow God's always around to show that He cares.
yesterday i was emo-ing on the train when this family with 2 little girls sat next to me. they got off before i did and suddenly the 2 little girls turned around to wave and say goodbye to me. i was pleasantly surprised but they totally made my day. (:
then today i was upset again and friends started talking to me on msn about the most random and funniest things that made me laugh and cheered me up immensely. of wedding bears and crubbing. (:
so thank You God for the blessings in life that show me how much You love me. (: thank You for the complete strangers as well as good friends.
i think the impending exams are a serious cause of my mood swings. sucks to be studying for smth you're completely not motivated for. God please help me.
and later that night, i switched on my computer and it hung halfway! and i kept turning the power off and switching it on again and again, freakng out cos it'll be a whole lot of trouble bringing my laptop for repair, not to mention the cost since my laptop's warranty has expired. then it came to mind that i should pray about it and i just said a one liner God please let my laptop work and i switched it on and lo and behold it loaded perfectly. (:
praise God. (:
You have my heart and i am Yours forever
You are my strength God of grace and power
and everything You hold in your hand
still You make time for me
i cant understand
praise You God of earth and sky
how beautiful is Your unfailing love, unfailing love
and You never change God You remain
the Holy One and my unfailing love, unfailing love
You are my rock, the one i hold on to
You are my song and i sing for You
firstly, keryew asked us, if we die tmr, what would we regret?
at first my answer was not getting married and having a family of my own.
but then i thought, that doesn't really constitute as a regret because it's not like i've had chances to get married but due to certain reasons i chose not to.
in this case it would be more of being upset that i didn't get the opportunity of enjoying a marriage and starting a family of my own than regretting it.
so i'm not quite sure what i'd regret.
then keryew asked if your mum dies tmr, what would you regret?
taking it as both my parents, i think i would regret not spending more time with them.
that means i should do smth about it right?
seriously, i feel like i've taken them for granted all my life.
everyone just stop for a moment and wonder, don't you think that you've all been incredibly blessed by your parents? they pay for our education, they pay for our food, our shelter, most of our wants and most if not all of us never have to worry about finances. they work hard to do all that including bringing us up and let's face it looking after children is possibly the most challenging thing to do.
and all we ever do is complain how much they nag at us, how they don't let us do certain things etc. ok if you don't do any of the above, then you're a perfect kid. but i'm not and writing all this down just reminds me of how ungrateful i've been to them.
as i've always said to someone, no parent aims to be a bad parent. whatever they do, they do it because they love us. think about it.
so hopefully i can set aside more time with my parents, be it watching soccer with them on weekends, having dinner together on weekdays... and hopefully when i'm older, i'll be able to treat them to nice dinners, bring them on holidays and so on to thank them for all the hard work they've put into raising me up. (:
it's time to think about how we're treating our parents. don't regret when it's too late.
smth else we talked about was how we always want things we can't have.
like we want to be smarter (especially for uni people?) or more money or whatever.
i think keryew put it in the best way, we want it but we DON'T HAVE it, so there's really no point thinking of the what ifs, we should concentrate on what we have instead. (:
on a happier note, grace and andrew's wedding, 22nd november. (: though it's the sunday before the week i have 4 final sem papers, God will see me through yes?
and thank God for awesome friends amidst this pretty toturous week. aa202 paper was epic fail as the guys would've put it ): but really, thank God for jack and noel for putting up with all my questions on variances and ROI, for shawn for getting dinner for all of us mugging students in the library, victor for the free entertainment (hahaha) and for ziwei who gave us a lift to hougang after the paper ended 9.45pm. you guys are God-sent, even if you guys don't agree with it. (:
thank God for upsize too you girls make my week every week. i look forward to every friday evening (i really do!) to just unwind, share, learn, laugh and grow with you girls. you girls are abviously God-sent. (:
oh yeah took a cab home with colleen and kenneth and i was saying most guys have an inborn nature to want to protect girls (whether it's a girlfriend or not) and colleen was like kenneth you better not lose that nature it's the most attractive thing to a girl and i have to say i couldn't agree more. (:
actually i think for me the most attractive thing about a guy (after we get together) would be the little things that he rmb that are impt to you which you think he doesn't really care about. but for now that's just wishful thinking on my part huh. haha ok just read min's blog and got some inspiration. after all if you can't whine on your blog who can you whine to? (:
i realise that life's a lot easier when you look at each bad thing that happens as smth which God has placed intentionally in your life, to mould you into the person that He wants you to be.
in all honesty, sometimes it's hard for me to find the learning point. looking back, there was a lot of self pity involved, just going on and on about how my life sucks and i'm just gonna keep crying but never, ok God, so what do You want to show/teach me through all this?
and so today i resolve to focus more on Him, especially when dark clouds gather and He seems to fade away, all the more i'm gonna look even harder and not wallow in self pity.
i'm thinking studying communications this sem has a lot to do with this realisation. hahaha. well for one i learnt how we were brought up, our surroundings, shapes what we think is right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, how to act in certain situations etc. thing is, we were all brought up differently! around different people and in different environments. so everyone's gonna have different opinions on most issues, especially those with grey areas.
i used to think someone had to be right. or rather, i wanted to be right. so silly and immature really. i'd think, it's impossible for both parties to be right, right? haha. but yeah took me a while to realise that both parties can be right, we just have our own opinions and who's to say they're wrong?
thank God for bringing me through it all this while, i know without Him i would've given up, self-destructed a long time ago (hence the picture on top. but it's still a cute cloud(: ). and even though it still hurts, i know He has placed me here for a reason, to grow, to learn smth, and i'm all ears (and eyes) to His message.
ok i'm really hungry right now, waiting for dinner. got lots to do but i can't do much when i'm hungry. :P and hence the picture. :D
God has truely been awesome. i'm gonna add another new year's resolution to my list: this year, i'm gonna make an effort to write in my journal or blog about every single incident that i see God present in, every prayer that He has answered and every lesson that He has taught me. quite impossible i know cos i can never truely count all His blessings but i'll still try. (:
anw i've been trying to sell my textbooks since last sem but i didn't find any buyers. this sem i was having difficulties too. i asked friends to advertise to their friends and juniors and i posted on the school's public folders but no one msged me. i was pretty frustrated cos i didn't want 4 textbooks taking up space in my room for another whole sem. then it struck me to pray about it and so i did.
and lo and behold the next day which was friday during yam while we were mingling during dinner, daphne was talking to beverley and suddenly she said hey mel beverley's studying accountancy at ntu too! and (this is quite bad but) the first thing i said was oh what courses are you taking next sem i'm selling my textbooks. :P and the amazing thing is she happens to take the exact courses which i'm selling my textbooks for so yay i now have a buyer and for all 4 textbooks at once too! :D
so yes God truely is amazing that he even bothers about the little things in my life. and how much more concerned wll He be regarding the big issues in my life?
like last night's ODJ message about the early church, 'so they responded by praying. their current plight didn't diminish God or the fact that He was in control. they trusted Him.', another of my new year's resolutions is to keep my eyes on God and trust Him even if my current situation suggests that things are going wrong.
watchin u;
at 11:47 PM
do you just bear with it even though it eats you up inside?
or do you walk away?
have you ever been in a situation where you don't know whether to take a step back or a step forward? cos both ways you end up getting hurt. but at the same time you can't stay where you are cos you're hurting right now too.
sometimes i find it silly. other times i think it's one of the biggest hurdles i'll ever have to overcome.
praying real hard about it, trying to focus on Him instead of me. there's something to be learnt from all this right?
i can't wait for school to start. maybe i'll be too busy to think about it. but when the holidays come then what? i don't wanna go through it again. but i don't know what to do either.
going to church and being around family is about the only thing that makes me smile these days.
i'm just so tired really. physically and emotionally. it's gonna be tough trying to sleep at 11 at night to wake up at 6 in the morning 4 days a week. this is bad i'm tired even before school starts.
watchin u;
at 9:28 AM
Sunday, January 03, 2010
first off i'm so thankful for the many opportunities i've been given to serve God in 2009, who knew serving the Lord was this much fun. (: thank God for YAM camp and musical, both have definitely blessed me immensely and helped me grow that much deeper in Christ.
working on YAM camp was probably the best thing to happen to me in 2009. i got to know so many awesome brothers and sisters in Christ in the process and it's been an absolute joy really. somehow they really inspire and encourage me in ways that they'll never know, through what little contact i have with them. and i'm so thankful i said yes to coll when she asked me to join the comm.
i must say doing the YAM musical was somewhat of a crazy albeit a pretty short journey of two weeks. God has really opened my eyes to how He is able (haha title of the musical!) to do the seemingly impossible.
i rmb last last year 2008 church wanted to do a musical too. we started in aug i think and halfway through it was decided that there wasn't enough time to put together one by the end of the year. and i rmb thinking, even before it was decided, that there wasn't enough time to do a musical in 4 months after being used to working on plays for about 6 months before the actual performance, being on drama in st nicks. and i was lika ha i was right.
fast forward a year 2009 and here colleen was saying she was gonna put together a musical in 2 weeks. watching her struggle with the burden left a very strong impression on me and i knew i wanted to help but i wasn't confident about acting so i said i'd help with backstage stuff. but God had other plans and i ended up with a supporting role which required me to sing as well. and somehow i said yes though i was really nervous. not to mention that the song was a new one for me and i had trouble singing it.
and so i prayed about it. and amazingly the next day, i was no longer feeling nervous but i was so excited about performing! but the song was still giving me trouble and i was still forgetting my lines, up till the last rehearsal just before the actual performance. i was crying backstage and i was really scared of spoiling the musical for everyone. and i sat down and prayed hard. and lo and behold i didn't forget a single line during the show and pple came up to me and said i delivered the song well though i felt shaky so i was pleased about that.
God is indeed awesome. for showing me that anything is possible with Him around, for alleviating my fears.
come 2010 and i see a lot of changes this year. from my internship to gary ord-ing and starting schoo, i foresee a whole host of new problems or situations to work out, including the same old problems like school. but this year i'm not gonna try to solve them myself. and so this year i have no new year resolutions. except to walk closer with God, to trust wholeheartedly in God and to live my life for God.
watchin u;
at 8:52 AM
Sunday, November 08, 2009
recently whenever i'm feeling down somehow God's always around to show that He cares.
yesterday i was emo-ing on the train when this family with 2 little girls sat next to me. they got off before i did and suddenly the 2 little girls turned around to wave and say goodbye to me. i was pleasantly surprised but they totally made my day. (:
then today i was upset again and friends started talking to me on msn about the most random and funniest things that made me laugh and cheered me up immensely. of wedding bears and crubbing. (:
so thank You God for the blessings in life that show me how much You love me. (: thank You for the complete strangers as well as good friends.
i think the impending exams are a serious cause of my mood swings. sucks to be studying for smth you're completely not motivated for. God please help me.
watchin u;
at 7:57 AM
Monday, October 19, 2009
and later that night, i switched on my computer and it hung halfway! and i kept turning the power off and switching it on again and again, freakng out cos it'll be a whole lot of trouble bringing my laptop for repair, not to mention the cost since my laptop's warranty has expired. then it came to mind that i should pray about it and i just said a one liner God please let my laptop work and i switched it on and lo and behold it loaded perfectly. (:
praise God. (:
You have my heart and i am Yours forever
You are my strength God of grace and power
and everything You hold in your hand
still You make time for me
i cant understand
praise You God of earth and sky
how beautiful is Your unfailing love, unfailing love
and You never change God You remain
the Holy One and my unfailing love, unfailing love
You are my rock, the one i hold on to
You are my song and i sing for You
watchin u;
at 8:57 AM
Thursday, October 15, 2009
stole this from my cousin's blog (sorry val!).
i think it pretty much sums up my childhood dream. (:
it's a girl thing i think.
thinking there are happily ever afters.
if only life were like the disney movies.
find your prince charming and live happily ever after. (:
ok wishful thinking again.
just stressed out.
even though i tell myself i just wanna get my degree and get outta here,
i still get upset over a C+.
hello, i've lost my motivation. have you seen it?
sigh.
i wanna be a kid again.
zero worries.
in my safe bubble.
why do we have to grow up?
i'm beginning to think that ignorance is bliss.
watchin u;
at 6:47 AM
Friday, October 09, 2009
firstly, keryew asked us, if we die tmr, what would we regret?
at first my answer was not getting married and having a family of my own.
but then i thought, that doesn't really constitute as a regret because it's not like i've had chances to get married but due to certain reasons i chose not to.
in this case it would be more of being upset that i didn't get the opportunity of enjoying a marriage and starting a family of my own than regretting it.
so i'm not quite sure what i'd regret.
then keryew asked if your mum dies tmr, what would you regret?
taking it as both my parents, i think i would regret not spending more time with them.
that means i should do smth about it right?
seriously, i feel like i've taken them for granted all my life.
everyone just stop for a moment and wonder, don't you think that you've all been incredibly blessed by your parents? they pay for our education, they pay for our food, our shelter, most of our wants and most if not all of us never have to worry about finances. they work hard to do all that including bringing us up and let's face it looking after children is possibly the most challenging thing to do.
and all we ever do is complain how much they nag at us, how they don't let us do certain things etc. ok if you don't do any of the above, then you're a perfect kid. but i'm not and writing all this down just reminds me of how ungrateful i've been to them.
as i've always said to someone, no parent aims to be a bad parent. whatever they do, they do it because they love us. think about it.
so hopefully i can set aside more time with my parents, be it watching soccer with them on weekends, having dinner together on weekdays... and hopefully when i'm older, i'll be able to treat them to nice dinners, bring them on holidays and so on to thank them for all the hard work they've put into raising me up. (:
it's time to think about how we're treating our parents. don't regret when it's too late.
smth else we talked about was how we always want things we can't have.
like we want to be smarter (especially for uni people?) or more money or whatever.
i think keryew put it in the best way, we want it but we DON'T HAVE it, so there's really no point thinking of the what ifs, we should concentrate on what we have instead. (:
on a happier note, grace and andrew's wedding, 22nd november. (: though it's the sunday before the week i have 4 final sem papers, God will see me through yes?
and thank God for awesome friends amidst this pretty toturous week. aa202 paper was epic fail as the guys would've put it ): but really, thank God for jack and noel for putting up with all my questions on variances and ROI, for shawn for getting dinner for all of us mugging students in the library, victor for the free entertainment (hahaha) and for ziwei who gave us a lift to hougang after the paper ended 9.45pm. you guys are God-sent, even if you guys don't agree with it. (:
thank God for upsize too you girls make my week every week. i look forward to every friday evening (i really do!) to just unwind, share, learn, laugh and grow with you girls. you girls are abviously God-sent. (:
oh yeah took a cab home with colleen and kenneth and i was saying most guys have an inborn nature to want to protect girls (whether it's a girlfriend or not) and colleen was like kenneth you better not lose that nature it's the most attractive thing to a girl and i have to say i couldn't agree more. (:
actually i think for me the most attractive thing about a guy (after we get together) would be the little things that he rmb that are impt to you which you think he doesn't really care about. but for now that's just wishful thinking on my part huh. haha ok just read min's blog and got some inspiration. after all if you can't whine on your blog who can you whine to? (:
watchin u;
at 8:50 AM
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
i realise that life's a lot easier when you look at each bad thing that happens as smth which God has placed intentionally in your life, to mould you into the person that He wants you to be.
in all honesty, sometimes it's hard for me to find the learning point. looking back, there was a lot of self pity involved, just going on and on about how my life sucks and i'm just gonna keep crying but never, ok God, so what do You want to show/teach me through all this?
and so today i resolve to focus more on Him, especially when dark clouds gather and He seems to fade away, all the more i'm gonna look even harder and not wallow in self pity.
i'm thinking studying communications this sem has a lot to do with this realisation. hahaha. well for one i learnt how we were brought up, our surroundings, shapes what we think is right or wrong, appropriate or inappropriate, how to act in certain situations etc. thing is, we were all brought up differently! around different people and in different environments. so everyone's gonna have different opinions on most issues, especially those with grey areas.
i used to think someone had to be right. or rather, i wanted to be right. so silly and immature really. i'd think, it's impossible for both parties to be right, right? haha. but yeah took me a while to realise that both parties can be right, we just have our own opinions and who's to say they're wrong?
thank God for bringing me through it all this while, i know without Him i would've given up, self-destructed a long time ago (hence the picture on top. but it's still a cute cloud(: ). and even though it still hurts, i know He has placed me here for a reason, to grow, to learn smth, and i'm all ears (and eyes) to His message.
ok i'm really hungry right now, waiting for dinner. got lots to do but i can't do much when i'm hungry. :P and hence the picture. :D
watchin u;
at 3:39 AM